Numbness

I’ve been avoiding the thoughts

avoiding the pain, the anger, the words

diving into mindless video games

headfirst into projects that could wait

nothing too easy

that would leave me time to think

social media is addictive

but not today

and not tomorrow

my feeds are just funhouse mirrors of my own pain

and I’m trying to avoid that

but i can’t sleep in bed tonight

in my own home

without thinking

they’d justify my death too